EPHEMERALOGICA

by Jane McArthur

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about

This eclectic compilation album ‘ephemeralogica’ is the culmination of the ’12 Months 12 Songs’ recording project of 2015; which saw the artist record and release a new song every month with different producers and musicians. Each song captures a moment of creation, the collaborative essence of the particular artists in the room on the day. A testament to the here and now. A celebration of the only moment you ever really have. The graceful acceptance that the months are going to keep rolling on, and that they will roll around again.

credits

released February 25, 2016

All tracks written and sung by Jane McArthur, mastered by Adam Dempsey. See each track for individual track credits.

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Jane McArthur Melbourne, Australia

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Track Name: Just Ain't Enough
Looking back on the sum of our days
All the love we’ve lost, all the love we made.
When I look around, seems we had nothing better or worse,
We just couldn’t make it work.

The sun’s shining outside but I can’t see through my tears
Friends tell me it’s going to be alright, but I can’t see through my fears -
That it’s not a question of love. What if love just ain’t enough
To make it work?

How are we supposed to learn to love again,
When we couldn’t stop our love from falling through the cracks?
And how’re we supposed to build a life out of love,
When it’s just made up of the stuff that happens
In the gaps?

Now you’ll go back to your life, and I’ll go back to my whiskey and wine.
Once these stubborn tendrils around our hearts have untwined.
Once all this love we spilt has dried,
Once we forget how hard we tried
To make it work.
Track Name: All This Love
Oh lover, won’t you come here?
And we can share the night time.
Baby I’m so lonesome
On my own-some right now.

All life offers is right now,
Just as sunrise melts the darkness -
Things that were, will fade and blur
As time keeps rolling on.

We build our lives like islands in the sea,
And all this love I’ve got is wasted on me.

So lover, won’t you come here?
We can build a pyre.
We'll watch it burn away our yearnings
For loves’ sweet dying breath.
Track Name: Waiting For The Sun
I was waiting for the sun to fall at our feet,
I was waiting for our love to rise and defeat
All the trouble and the strife
Thrown up by life, but it seems
It was never going to be that way.

You were hoping for the cool promise of spring,
You were hoping that a change in the seasons might bring
Better odds for holding tight
Through long, lonely nights, but it seems
It was never going to be that way.

We long for the kiss of summer when we’re held tight in winter’s embrace,
Forgetting the only thing that doesn’t change is nothing stays the same.

We were dreaming autumn days had brought us reprieve,
Dreamt our troubles fell away like autumn leaves;
Orange, rust and golden brown –
We kicked them around, but it seems
It was never going to be that way.

But the sun’s going to shine again,
It was never going to be that way.
Cause nothing ever stays the same,
The sun’s going to shine.
Track Name: One More Song
I’ll never write another song babe,
I’ll never write another word.
I’ll stop all the fuss and carry-on babe,
Fly high above concern like a bird.
I’ll give it all away. The price too dear to pay
For one more song of love gone wrong.
Don’t want to summarise the throes of our demise.
I’ll turn my head away, shut tight both my eyes.

Seems grief and sorrow are our only constants,
But don’t it keep us focussed to the task
Of keeping our ending un-written?-
Smelling salts to our battered hearts.
Stay here in my life, aching as the knife
Pressed keen against the near dead-man’s throat.
Stay here by my side, the raging rivers wide
Might spare us once again, we’ll keep this love afloat….

Don’t leave, don’t turn into a song-
The type that lonely folk sing when the nights are cold and long.
Don’t leave. If we don’t write the ending down
We can still pretend there’s hope we’ll turn this love around.
Don’t leave.

If history is written by the winner,
What if no-one really won?
What will be deemed unimportant
Or valued when the writing has begun?:
The nuance in a gaze, the subtle light and shade
Found in unexpected corners of a life.
The trivialities our protagonist can’t see
That cause a heart to lift or cause a soul to weep….

Don’t leave, don’t turn into a song.
I won’t do it justice, I’m bound to get it wrong.
Don’t leave. If we don’t write the ending down
We can still pretend there’s hope we’ll turn this love around.
Don’t leave, don’t turn into a song-
The type that lonely folk sing when the nights are cold and long.
Don’t leave. Tell me why’d it have to end-
One more time help me get it through my head
Track Name: Up All Night
Bittersweet company, you at arms length from me
When I want to put you in my pocket tight.
Warm embrace and you’re gone, my cracked facade and me alone
To make acquaintance with the long, cold night.
I think I might stay up all night.
I think I might stay up.
All night.
I just might.
Stay up.
All night.
I just might.

What I was searching for, hidden all the while before
I see it in the clear daylight.
I knew it well, but not until
Its name I hear from my lips spill
again, again into the long, cold night.
I think I might stay up all night.
I think I might stay up.
All night.
I just might.
Stay Up.
All night.
I just might.
Stay Up.
All night.
I just might.
Track Name: See You In The Sometime
I get a feeling that we won’t see the sunrise tomorrow’s going to see another casualty on the list of sorrows that we carry just in case they might happen in the sometime that don’t even exist.
I saw the message in the moon shine your brother gave me something just the other day was it just another of the games we play anyway you shake it down till it crumbles sometimes it don’t even exist.

You can take your sweet time,
Cause I’m doing fine.
But I can’t wait to feel you, feeling alright.

I get a feeling when I call it I like the way you inhabit space-suits me to kiss your face up and tell myself the things I (k)no(w) yes maybe baby see you someplace in the sometime that don’t even exist.

You can take your sweet time,
Cause life is sublime.
But I can’t wait to feel you, feeling alright.

I saw the message that you left flashing on my(-)i phone back in time we fell in line-ups things look clearer painted for the first time I saw you I knew I never left you somewhere in the sometime that don’t even exist.
Track Name: Only Love
Heart beats beating
Words lose meaning.
A gentle thunder in my ear,
Love-rushed blood is all I hear.
Now you’re leaving
Taking facts deceiving what’s really in my heart.
Your truth a smoke cloud around my head
Dissipating so fast, too fast to be read.

And truth is
Elusive
At the best of times.

When we strip back all the fear
There’s only the love that you hear
And all the clumsy things that you say
No longer get in the way

Something drives me
But it is nothing like me.
I’m but a creature in the dark
Blind without the light that shines from a free heart
I can’t see you
There's an outline but you’re see through
Or is that just my eyes?-
Clouded by a premonition of an unformed love’s demise.

And truth is
Elusive
At the best of times
But worse, through this
Obtrusive
State of mind.

Sometimes things get out of line
When your heart’s beating double time
And all the clumsy things that you say
Just go and get in the way.
So just strip back all the fear
Until there is only love that you hear
Then all the clumsy things that you do
Come from a place of truth
Track Name: Coat Tails
Sitting on a blanket of pepperberry
Soft pink fading to dust
Your words might melt some other girl’s ice-cream heart,
But cause the wounds in this steel heart to rust.

It’s been 12 thick months since love packed up
And quit this city like a breeze
The past loses its form just as soon as it’s born
But love’s shape is still whispered by the leaves.

And it’s all you can do
Just to hold onto
The coat-tails of time, as it hurries on.

Talking about the time we drove out west
Chasing the sun across to Perth.
I think we thought we were happy with all we might have
At least we hoped so, for all that it’s worth.

We’d never seen so much sky all at once
Meet the flat land with nothing in between.
But couldn’t see what was told in the silence
Unfolding around us, like madness in a dream.

But it was all we could do
Just to hold onto
The coat tails of time as it hurried on.

You still catch yourself crying.
It happens at strange times –
Not Sunday afternoons or Monday night.
You still catch yourself crying
You never see where it’s coming from.
They say ‘what doesn’t kill you….’
But you don’t feel strong.
So for now, just carry on.
Just carry on.

The sun’s sinking low as you can trust it to
About this time of day, this time of year.
And your eyes betray all the things you’ll never say,
Building pressure like a storm between your ears.

It’s a lonely point of view, just the weather and you,
Like you’ll never feel the sun on your skin.
But stop caressing the past, keep one ear pressed to you heart
You’ll hear the rumble of the warm front rolling in.

‘Cause all you need to do
Is just hold fast to
The coat tails of time as hurries on.
Track Name: Dynasty
Eyes wide open as the heart that’s never learned to smart from stupidity, anything you want to see, call it here, fantasy’s connected like a shadow to reality.

There’s nothing but the fiction written any time you blink in time with what you think it should be. We could make a dynasty, endless for it’s forty years and two square metres that the others would see.

So tell it to me.

What dance soars light with heady flight, yet safe and steady, tight at the heart of it? What’s the sound of symphony, written by a ‘you and me’ that pulls hearts focus back to honesty?

I listen like a ninja in the middle of a blind-fold battle when the universe speaks. One day I’ll hear what you got, shallow-wave cosmic shock: the perfect harmonic to the centre I seek.

So tell it to me.
Track Name: Arsonists
You’re leaving again. This time feels like the last time.
I guess we’ll never know till the verdict is read.
Until we find out what the Coroner said, read the forensic report,
Dig up all of the fears that were buried.
And wake all of the truths that were playing dead.

I’m sorry if it ever felt like I was trying to change you.
I guess it’s just the way that I treat myself.
When so much of love is complicity; collusion in crimes of the heart,
I was pushing for life not a habit:
The same record picked from the same shelf.

I believed you when you said you wanted everything.
But if we chase every one of our dreams, maybe we end up with none of them?

Why did you let it go so far, let me fall so hard
If your heart wasn’t really in it?
Why did I let us fall apart, while we fused our hearts,
If I never really meant it?

There’s a fire burning, and I know that you feel the heat.
Oh but you’ve got your back to the flames.
And I’m screaming, ‘Danger! We’ve got to fight this or we’ve got to run!’
But you said ‘hush girl, don’t worry, it’s just silly little kids playing games’

Never had I heard words that rang so true.
But we couldn’t see that the arsonists were me and you.

We were dancing so fast around one another,
We made our own gravity field.
And everything got sucked in and torn down.
Track Name: Story Thieves
There was a time when I thought it was worth the crime. But then things shifted on a dime, and everything save for the trying was vaporised like mystery and all the love I used to see, the colours that I used to be; held weight of an infinity when revealed as unreality.
It’s not how it was meant to be.
……..no, It’s not OK; the countless poison lies we say to keep our hungry minds at bay and curiosity won’t stay buried, still. I’m losing sight more each day and every night of everything I thought was right and all my allies in this plight are gone and then one said to me: ”The treasure is fantasy!” – “the dream they sold – a fallacy, like trying to hold onto the sea, like so much smoke run through your hands”. So why seek answers in foreign lands, or run for days through yielding sands, or weather seas not made for man in leaky boats? Go and make your peace because there’s nothing here that you can’t see – a fiction, or reality. For the price you pay it comes for free and as for your God in whom you pride; your Lucifer’s the other side so every due you think you’ve paid the truth is that it pays both ways, and all that’s left of you and me is a story told by story thieves, or the softly fall of dying leaves, the icy drip from wintered eaves, or a dream dreamt by a child one night escaped across the rooftops bright as witnessed by the laughing moon, who knows the end comes all too soon and knows the end comes all too real to all that’s dust and corporeal. The answer’s never meaningless, the question’s where the meaning’s lost. The question’s where the meaning’s lost. It’s not how it was meant to be.
……. bow to your puppeteer; the spirits shouting in your ear – sound tempered by ten thousand years - who shout so loud you cannot hear and still you tell yourself you know the reasons why you stop and go, why you leap and duck so low, the reasons why those tears they flow like tiny rivers down your face – they echo of a different place, a sorrow blind but not removed, a hurt eternally unsoothed by mother’s hands, and so on it goes; sons and daughters carry the show un-seeking answers that no-one knows, cause Eve already took that blow. But are you made of stronger stuff? Does your heart beat loud enough to hear above the emptiness of all the chaos born of bliss constructed by a hungriness. 10 billion souls made meaningless. Escape the deadly drowning mire trying to ignore the fire burning closer everyday. Don’t listen to the lies they say. Don’t listen to the lies we say. Don’t listen to the lies I say. Don’t listen to the lies you say. Don’t listen to the lies you say. Don’t listen to the lies you say. The lies you say.
Track Name: Come What May
Come what may, let it come.
Forgive yesterday, sometimes everything has to come undone.
I’ve been broken before, put back together with more, so
Come what may, let it come.

Come what may, bring it on.
When I can’t see the way I’ll follow the sweet sound of people singing this song.
I know I’ll be in fine company, so
Come what may, bring it on.

Come what may, let it unfold.
My strength I weigh, but the size of it is a story untold.
I want to know how the next verse goes, so
Come what may, let it unfold.

I hear them talk of beauty and they talk of youth.
But I ain’t ever felt young and the only beauty that I see is in truth,
I’m walking with my eyes and my heart open wide
And each step takes me a little bit closer.

Come what may, let it come to pass.
I called parley with all the demons still shouting out from my past.
I struck a deal and found freedom real, so
Come what may, let it come to pass.
Come what may, let it come
Come what may, let it come.